Our Homeschooling Journey

Why We Chose to Homeschool

I chose to homeschool because I wanted to be the one to see my kids grow up. From first steps, to reading their first word, to them discovering the magic and wonders of this world for the first (or repeat) time, I knew I had to be there to see it, to love it with them, to revel in that joy and childhood wonder alongside my children. I wanted to watch their amazing discoveries and adventures unfold. I wanted to learn what their interests and dreams were and do whatever I could to support and help them achieve them. I wanted to see what wisdom they had, to learn from them, to teach them, to share my wisdom, and, to discover new truths and beauties together. That was one of my dreams.

I chose to homeschool because I wanted an alternative to the busy, constantly-on-the-go, frenetic energy I saw occurring with so many families I knew. I desired a slower-paced life with lots of nature, travel, adventure, and hands-on experiences, and I was willing to make that a priority. Unplugged. Unhurried. Fully present in the moment. Romancing life. Marinating in the ebb and flow of seasons, days, times of connecting together, times of quiet solitude. Curling up on a cozy couch with a blanket and a roaring fire during a storm with a wonderful book. Reading quality literature aloud and being taken to other worlds in shared storied adventures together as a family, no matter how old the kids were. Experiencing this life together, fully and with authentic presence.

If both parents are on board with teaching their children, learning from their children and guiding their family into a different way of being, living, learning, blossoming and adventuring — then homeschooling through life can be incredible and unbelievably rewarding.

Getting Started — The Books That Shaped Us

I read many books before I started homeschooling. What I would consider a modern-day Bible for classical education is The Well-Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer and Jessie Wise. This particular tome will give you an in-depth understanding of classical education at home. I read parts of it and skimmed others. I took the parts that resonated with me — particularly learning Latin roots and the concept of creating learning hooks in the mind and then building on them as the mind, brain, and heart develop. This book will give you an excellent understading of the classical view of how the mind and brain develop at different ages/stages. As well as why it can be very valuable to expose young children to certain concepts through stories and mythology as a general and engaging intro, then re-visit those concepts again when they are older, this time, more in depth. In line with that - I thoroughly enjoyed using Story of the World for the spine of our history — history told as an interesting story. I found it very engaging and thoroughly enjoyed reading it myself. There is a junior high level version and then a high school level version that revisits what was covered in a much more in-depth and advanced way.

100 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum by Cathy Duffy is a book I read around the same time. If you know you want to use someone else's curriculum but aren't sure where to begin — or that there are even varying styles of curriculum and different styles of learning — this book is worth the buy. It really helped me get curriculum straight in my head. I had already been to homeschool conventions and the sheer quantity and variety of curriculum available was staggering and quite overwhelming. The first few sections of this book were invaluable to me as they got me clear on what our family life was like. It also guided me into reflecting on what sorts of habits, interests, and proclivities I was noticing in my young children. This helped me eliminate about 90% of the curriculum choices/styles out there. That was such a weight lifted. I now had tools and clarity I could draw from when faced with new homeschool curriculum possibilities and systems. I knew nearly right away if our family would be interested or not. From my heart I must say, my favorite sections of this book were those that had me really reflect on what daily life was like for our family, what our natural interests were, what my teaching style and time constraints were, and, what sorts of learning styles my children had. This is a rad book for increasing self awareness and clarity. Even if you don't homeschool.

A couple of years into homeschooling I discovered two books I wish I had found sooner: How Am I Smart? A Parent's Guide to Multiple Intelligences by Dr. Kathy Koch, and The Unhurried Homeschooler — a simple, mercifully short book on homeschooling by Durenda Wilson. Both are extraordinary.

For several years I attended an extremely large homeschool convention when it would come to the Southern California area in June. During one of those conferences, I had the opportunity to attend a talk by Dr. Kathy Koch, the author of How Am I Smart? The talk was eye opening and life changing as far as how I subsequently understood myself and my children. Not only did I take copious notes during her presentation and ask her questions afterward, shortly thereafter, I purchased her book. I found the content she presented to be well researched, well thought out, from the heart, and extremely compelling. What she presents in black and white text in her book is something that I had known in my heart for a long time, but hadn't really put into words.

The ideas covered really are geared toward honoring the individual. How we each arrived here, and the gifts and proclivities we came with. It really flies in the face of the illogical, non-heart centered, non-empowering view that permeates most government school institutions. Such institutions largely seek to place everyone in the same cookie cutter mold and require everyone to jump through the same hoops, at the same time, in the same way. Essentially the antithesis of honoring the individual, their heart, their soul, their mind, their body, their needs. In fact, after the introductory chapter that gives the basis of multiple intelligences, the chapter following addresses identifying core needs of the individual.

She also covers concepts of purpose in life. In other words, what the child (and adult) might be wondering, "Why am I alive? Why am I here?" Incredible and beautiful things to not only reach inside and discover for yourself, but also to help your child reflect and unveil. Every one of us has our own unique destiny, heart, wisdom, and special gifts. We also have our own ways we prefer to live and learn. Whether it be through words, logic and questions, pictures, rhythm and melodies, movement and touch, nature and patterns, connecting with people, or reflecting on the self. Just connecting with my heart and pouring out this review, finds me choosing to read this volume again.

The Unhurried Homeschooler by Durenda Wilson truly is a simple and mercifully short book on homeschooling. It is also a very heartfelt, heart touching, loving book on the realities of homeschooling. This tome is delightfully sweet. She covers topics including: Why you want to homeschool, why it's so important to slow down, and that we must learn to trust our instincts. Furthermore, she addresses tough things that can arise when you're a homeschool family and what to do about them. The author revels in the freedom that homeschooling CAN offer, if only we would release ourselves from old programming, tap into the wisdom of our hearts, and choose that freedom.

Common Sense Child Rearing by Dr. Thomas Cowan is a book I came across after nearly 10 years of homeschooling. I believe that book found me at the right time. It is now one of my favorite books about living, family, children, teaching, learning, and just being a human being. Interestingly, my dear friend Jeanine had sent me a video interview with Dr. Cowan on education and raising children — and only after I had already started reading the book did I realize I had previously purchased his book on cancer and the new science of water. Both books are near the top of my list as absolutely excellent and a must-have in any library.

Two Ways to Homeschool in California

Public Charter School

With a public charter school you will get some of your tax dollars back to use in specific ways for your child's education. You will also have the contracts, checklists, oversight, rules, regulations, and testing that come with being overseen by the government. If you don't know where to start and the idea terrifies you, a charter school might be a good place to begin while you get your bearings. I have met some moms who start this way because it's been programmed into them that they have no idea how to guide a love of learning in their child.

Private School Affidavit

With a private school affidavit, you don't get tax dollars back from a charter school — but you have tremendous freedom. No contracts, no checklists, no periodic or annual testing. It is up to you and your child. Keep samples of what you've done, photos of places you've gone, and samples of anything they've created. Given where I am now — with the experience, wisdom, and confidence I've developed — I would go this route. The freedom, adventure, and flexibility it offers are extraordinary.

California Private School Affidavit Information

Note: Some may say that doing independent study through the local school district is homeschooling — but really that is government school at home.

We were with a public charter school for over a decade. I chose the charter school I did because our educational specialist was absolutely amazing — and still is. As my younger ones got older, though, the pressures, checklists, and ever-increasing government requirements started feeling like a noose around my neck. My children knew how to cook, forage edible plants, had been across the country multiple times, had explored geographical features in person, knew many Latin roots, played instruments, were avid readers, could hold conversations with peers and adults alike, were excellent at math — and yet somehow, when I compared our progress to what the government was sending through the charter school, I constantly felt like we were behind.

It was a relief when I moved some of my older children onto a private school affidavit. The message that they were constantly behind, not doing it right, not doing enough — lifted. We were "doing enough." Always had been. In some cases, too much. I am thrilled my children have had the amazing, hands-on experiences and learning they have. That they got to see, touch, smell, taste, experience so many wonderful things, together, as a family. Was it perfect all the time? No. No one is. But, it was real, authentic, growing, healing, US.

The Adventures We Called School

This was such an important dream for my little one. I helped her make it happen. Together we made our plan, got our supplies, and went to experience her dream — having her Barbie mansion with all of her Barbies and special items on the beach, so her Barbies could see what the ocean was like. We set up that Barbie mansion right next to our towels. Then we took the Barbie boat so they could swim in the ocean, where we learned a lot about choppy waters and buoyancy. It is incredible how many interesting people you get to meet when you are sitting on your towels with a Barbie Mansion right there on the beach. We had some excellent and interesting conversations with all kinds of fellow Southern California beachgoers. Those memories are so precious to me.

What else but homeschooling can take you on a massive family-building adventure at a camp in the mountains? We did archery, solved a large group physics problem hands-on together, climbed ropes courses — and they even got to see Mom climb a very tall tree and jump right off the top. No one else wanted to leap off and fly, but adventure is my middle name, (and I think I was a bird or dragon in a former life), so I took flight!

In what other capacity can you go on a five-hour farm field trip in the middle of the week to learn about the history of the area, touch and learn about horses, get a tour of the farm, learn how to make sourdough bread from scratch — and then actually make it? The whole family went on that one and it was rad.

How else can you put your kids in the car with journals (These are our favorite hardcover journals. We own almost every design.) and reading materials and take a whole family trip across the country and back over six weeks — stopping in every state, in multiple places, learning about the area, the geography, the food, and the history? We did that twice. The kids got to watch their dad compete in a massive steak dinner eating competition in Amarillo, Texas — and watch him win. They got to squeal with delight as we explored the Grand Canyon (so did I, one of my favorite places). They got to experience what happens when you get a flat tire at Petrified National Forest with nowhere nearby to go — you adapt, think clearly, stay cool, and overcome.

Our family ate amazing out of this world barbecue at this little dive called Smokies in Oklahoma. We got to talk to a bunch of locals, mostly hunters and wranglers of wild pigs, (which is actually scarier than it sounds). They shared things like the kind of weapons they used and what works best. Then we discussed the very different landscape of California and these types of activities and conversations. We loved the green of Oklahoma and got used to the sudden rains, then the clearing and the mud, as well as the gorgeous skies.

On our first trip across country, when we hit Arkansas, we decided to try out Little Rock. I realize different vibes work for different people. The moment we crossed into the city of Little Rock, I knew it was not the place for me. The energy felt very, very low and even sad to me. We did stay there that night as we arrived late, and the place we stayed was perfectly functional and big enough for all of us. It was normally a place where many people coming to the city for massive medical treatments would stay, and it felt very sad. I know that had an effect on my impression of Little Rock. That said, I have no intention of ever going there again.

Hitting Lake Ouachita in Arkansas was an entirely different and incredible experience. The whole family agreed we would drive or fly back to that area just to visit, explore and adventure at Shangri-La in Lake Ouachita, Arkansas. This place was like stepping back in time, like walking through a well preserved time capsule. I don't fully have the words to describe the energy and feeling we got there. We didn't want to leave when it was time. We connected as a family in huge and beautiful ways. We had some of the best times of our trip at this location. The people at Shangri-La were so genuine, chill, real, present, authentic and incredibly welcoming. No one, and I mean no one, from employees to guests that we saw were on devices and phones. I can't remember seeing anyone sitting there with their neck tilted down at a grotesque angle, their shoulders hunched forward, ignoring the beauty of the place and the people they were adventuring with and dissolving into tech hell. This special gem is one of my happy places, and I will be going there again.

We all got to learn why Doc Watson says he "never would have made it through the Arkansas mud if he hadn't been riding on the Tennessee stud." (Oklahoma mud too, for that matter). We explored all of Virginia, saw Washington DC, walked through Colonial Williamsburg, visited the recreated Jamestown settlement, then went to the actual site of Jamestown and stood beside the archaeological digs and felt the history there.

We learned as we adventured, loved, argued, grew closer, discovered what we liked, discovered what we didn't like, got grouchy, and got happy...TOGETHER, AS A FAMILY. It wasn't only our children who were learning. My husband and I learned too. Some of the absolute best moments of my life. And, whether they see it now or realize it later in life, I pray my children will see these moments as some the best of their lives too.

Looking Back — Reflections

I felt like I had my feet in two different worlds for many years. I chose to homeschool because I wanted them to learn according to how they are smart and gifted — according to their natural talents. And yet I let the government's framework make me feel like we were always falling short.

Was our homeschool experience perfect? Of course not. Not even close. Was there learning and growth? Yes. Did we build incredible memories and have adventures that few in this life ever get to experience? Yes. Did I get to share beautiful parts of this world with my husband and children and learn all about them together? Yes. Do all my children have a love of reading exquisite literature? Yes — I took great care to make sure I was raising bibliophiles. Did my children get to grow up in a stunning forest on a granite mountain with nature and wildlife all around? Yes.

Did I feel the pressures of conforming to what the government system thinks is uniform, milktoast success in learning? Yes I did. Did I have to grow to recognize and acknowledge all the incredible ways my children and our family had adventured, learned, experienced, and grown together? Yes — and it took some time. Did I homeschool my children without the support of family, my parents, during some long periods, without the support of my husband? Yes. Was it tough? Yes. Did it help us grow, shape us and make us stronger? Yes.

We have had absolutely incredible family adventures and experiences. We will have many, many more family escapades, expeditions, quests, odysseys and playful shenanigans now and in the future.